Sunday morning during sacrament meeting, I started having painful contractions. I thought I was in labor, and I was scared. At first I thought it was my bowels, but it wasn't. I called my doctor and he told me to go straight to Franklin Square. We headed that way right after church and everything checked out fine. The baby's heart beat was good and I had not dialated at all. So I went home and was told to return if it got worse or if I started bleeding.
Literally as soon as we got home, I started bleeding. When I went into the bathroom and sat down, and something literally fell out. I was scared. I thought it was the baby. Ronald called 911 and the paramedics came. They took me to Upper Chesapeake, which I was NOT happy about, along with the thing that dropped out. My home teacher came and with Ronald's help gave me a wonderful blessing. His family kept the kids until we picked them up when I was discharged. By the end of the night, we were told that it is very possible that I could miscarry any day, but they just don't know. They baby's heart was still good. They found a "bleed" in my uterus, and also found a growth on the baby's spine. My heart sunk. None of that sounded good at all. I cried a lot.
The next morning (Monday), the doctor and I talked and he said that he wanted me to see a perinatologist (I don't think I spelled that right), so they could do a more thorough sonogram with better equipment. I called them and they said for me to come down immediately. Tanner (my brother) watched the kids for a little bit until my visiting teacher arrived to help. Then Grace got from school and continued to help so my visiting teacher could go home. Mom and I went down to Franklin Square (Ronald had finals yesterday), and I had my sonogram done. They were wonderful. The baby is still fine, and is measuring to date. (18 weeks as of yesterday) The baby's brain looked good and the baby was moving it's legs, which was also good. There is a growth on the spine, near it's little butt. It's small and the spine is not in the growth, so that is also good. The doctor said that the best place for this to happen is on the lowest part of the spine, so that made me feel a little better. After the sonogram I had an amneosentis done, which hurt and was scary, too. That will help them determine what chromosome abnormalities there will be. Then we met with a genetic counselor. She will be calling us with the results. In 3-4 weeks the baby will have an MRI done, and some time in the near future will also have an echo done to check it's heart. The baby will have spina bifida, but we don't know what kind yet. I will have to deliver at John Hopkins because the baby will need surgery a few days after birth, and then it will be in the NICU for a few weeks. I will also have to constantly be monitored and have ultrasounds every month to see how the baby is doing. And this is all if the pregnancy continues.
My friends, I am very scared and very sad. Sometimes I'm alright, but I've been having my really rough moments, too. My life isn't going to be the same. BUT, I KNOW that Heavenly Father will help me and guide me. He's already comforted me so much. I trust in his plan for me and my family. I know he loves me. I know he loves this baby. He is a just and a good God. Please, pray for us.
10 comments:
Oh, Caitlin! I will keep you and your sweet little one in my prayers. I know that you are a strong woman, physically and spiritually. Let us know what you find out.
Caitlin,
This is Melissa (Sommer's friend,
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I know how scary this is for you, but you are in good hands. You are such a strong woman, and you have an abundance of friends who are here to support you and hold your hand. Also, you have Heavenly Father to guide you. I am praying for you and for your tiny baby.
I am so sorry Caitlin...man, you have been through a lot! I can only imagine how hard this is on you and your family. God is good, as you said...and miracles still do happen. You and your little baby are in our thoughts and prayers. Hang in there.
I cried for you the whole time while reading this...there is nothing scarier than knowing something might be wrong with your child. I have been praying for you and will continue to pray for you and your little baby.
I am so greatful for the technolgy that we have so that you can find all of the resources that you need to help you with this.
I am only a phone call away if you need any help. I can watch your children or anything.
443-417-3527
Oh Caitlin, I don't even know what to say, my heart is breaking with yours. I love you, you will be in my thoughts and prayers constantly. I love you, I'm hear if you want company, someone to talk to, babysitter, just a friend, whatever, please use me.
very quick note because I don't have much time to write. I have a friend whose son has S.B and some other health problems. They were not sure if he would live but after a long struggle in the hospital he is doing pretty well. She also delivered at Johns Hopkins. She has a blog and I'd like to give you her contact info. I"m sure she would be very willing to talk to you.
Oh Caitlin, I am so sick in my stomach and my heart for you! I tried to call earlier this week and I just read this and I am feeling so bad I haven't got in contact with you. I just called Grace and talked with her. I want to bring you some food. I leave town on Monday but I want to see you before then. Please call me or email me if you can. I love you! We are praying hard and thinking of you so much.
Caitlin and Ronald, we are thinking of all of you! Please let me know what we can do to help. We will keep you in our prayers.
I am so sorry but hoping for all the best for you guys! Hope you can have a Merry Christmas and that things will turn in a positive direction. :)
I had to go look up what SB meant. John Mellencamp has it, and Hank Williams, among the famous. There is always hope. Hope and faith that things will be okay. Glad you are a grit-loving girl, too! Merry Christmas. Hugs!
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