A rough 48 hours

Sunday morning during sacrament meeting, I started having painful contractions. I thought I was in labor, and I was scared. At first I thought it was my bowels, but it wasn't. I called my doctor and he told me to go straight to Franklin Square. We headed that way right after church and everything checked out fine. The baby's heart beat was good and I had not dialated at all. So I went home and was told to return if it got worse or if I started bleeding.

Literally as soon as we got home, I started bleeding. When I went into the bathroom and sat down, and something literally fell out. I was scared. I thought it was the baby. Ronald called 911 and the paramedics came. They took me to Upper Chesapeake, which I was NOT happy about, along with the thing that dropped out. My home teacher came and with Ronald's help gave me a wonderful blessing. His family kept the kids until we picked them up when I was discharged. By the end of the night, we were told that it is very possible that I could miscarry any day, but they just don't know. They baby's heart was still good. They found a "bleed" in my uterus, and also found a growth on the baby's spine. My heart sunk. None of that sounded good at all. I cried a lot.

The next morning (Monday), the doctor and I talked and he said that he wanted me to see a perinatologist (I don't think I spelled that right), so they could do a more thorough sonogram with better equipment. I called them and they said for me to come down immediately. Tanner (my brother) watched the kids for a little bit until my visiting teacher arrived to help. Then Grace got from school and continued to help so my visiting teacher could go home. Mom and I went down to Franklin Square (Ronald had finals yesterday), and I had my sonogram done. They were wonderful. The baby is still fine, and is measuring to date. (18 weeks as of yesterday) The baby's brain looked good and the baby was moving it's legs, which was also good. There is a growth on the spine, near it's little butt. It's small and the spine is not in the growth, so that is also good. The doctor said that the best place for this to happen is on the lowest part of the spine, so that made me feel a little better. After the sonogram I had an amneosentis done, which hurt and was scary, too. That will help them determine what chromosome abnormalities there will be. Then we met with a genetic counselor. She will be calling us with the results. In 3-4 weeks the baby will have an MRI done, and some time in the near future will also have an echo done to check it's heart. The baby will have spina bifida, but we don't know what kind yet. I will have to deliver at John Hopkins because the baby will need surgery a few days after birth, and then it will be in the NICU for a few weeks. I will also have to constantly be monitored and have ultrasounds every month to see how the baby is doing. And this is all if the pregnancy continues.

My friends, I am very scared and very sad. Sometimes I'm alright, but I've been having my really rough moments, too. My life isn't going to be the same. BUT, I KNOW that Heavenly Father will help me and guide me. He's already comforted me so much. I trust in his plan for me and my family. I know he loves me. I know he loves this baby. He is a just and a good God. Please, pray for us.

The best day EVER!!!

Today I went into the hospital for IV hydration....again. I should've gone last night, but Ronald needed to finish a paper for school so he could take it to the communication's lab this morning.

It feels so good to be hydrated. True, the process of it is not fun. The IV Therapist blew out one of my veins, which now hurts like CRAZY, and it's pretty boring laying in bed for hours waiting for your keytones to clear, but it feels so good to have fluids in my body again! I feel like a new woman.

After I was discharged, we went to Waffle House to eat dinner. Ronald humored me, since I thought I might be able to eat something there. He wanted Wendy's. I love Wendy's, but I didn't think I was ready for that yet. I ate two bowls of DELICIOUS grits and almost 5 pieces of bacon. It was YUMMMMMMMY!

We came home, put the kids to bed, and I lay in bed thinking of all of the things that I wanted to eat. Most of them will have to wait until after this whole sickness thing is over with. But it was so lovely to think and talk about food and not feel totally disgusting. The sad thing is that a lot of the things I want to eat are fatty and meat. Before I became pregnant, I was trying to cut as much meat out of our diets as possible. My body must need it. I will give my body what it wants for a little while.

Ronald is out right now getting me English Muffins at Redner's. I am SOOOO HAPPY!!!!! I kept saying that I wanted one with lots of butter (I love how it sits in the pockets.....yum) and some jelly on top. He finally gave in. He loves me. And I LOVE HIM! (And I will also love that English Muffin when it gets here.) You know what Ronald said to me when he left? You better not fall asleep or I will be upset!

Yup. This is a big sacrifice for him, and I love him for making it for me. Thanks, baby.

If I had gone to the hospital last night, I wouldn't have gotten grits and bacon, and Ronald wouldn't be at the store right now trying to fatten his tiny wife up.

It has been the best day EVER!!!!!

Oh GOOD!

This morning I woke up and felt OK. I felt gross, but I didn't want to hurl. I toasted a bagel and gave Isabella half. I chose the small half. Less stuff to come up later. I put butter on it. It was DELICIOUS! I didn't feel so great afterwards and was not looking forward to what I thought might happen. So, I ate an orange. It was gooooooood. So I had another one. Then I had a small glass of orange juice. Guess what?

It all stayed down!

For lunch I ate 2/3's a box of mac n' cheese. Not the best, I know, but it also stayed down!

I don't know if I should worry about the baby and think something's wrong, or if I should just REJOICE!!!! Right now, I'm kind of doing both. I started bleeding a little yesterday, and if that wasn't going on, I think I would just be very very happy.

Tomorrow, a nurse is coming to help me with my new zofran pump. I had this when I was pregnant with Isabella. Not my favorite thing, but I have zofran in my system 24/7, so that IS a good thing. Maybe I will be able to eat more and start gaining some weight. Maybe....sigh. I am looking forward to tomorrow, however, I am NOT looking forward to having to stick and re-stick myself every 3-5 days. I hated that part. My mom had to do most of the sticking for me last time. And since I have two little ones at home, I have to make sure that they won't pull my line out. That would so not be cool. Hopefully there will be enough fat to pinch so I can stick myself. My poor body.

I'm off to try to eat and drink something else. YIPPY!

Today

Pictures of the kids in their costumes. Isabella was a butterfly, Alexander was a lion!

I had my doctor's appointment today. I found out that I am 12 weeks and 2 days pregnant, and that my baby is due May 17, 2010! The baby sounded good, which was a relief. I will hopefully be trying acupuncture soon for the nausea and vomiting. I hope it works! I am down 19 lbs!!!!! YUCK!!!

My brother fixed our hot water Monday. Yesterday I bathed the kids and took a bath myself. Today I took a really HOT shower. It felt soooo good. I'm grateful for hot water.

Daddy got one of the Christmas trees down and I "fluffed" it. It looks so pretty. Isabella thinks Santa is coming tonight, but I told her he is still very busy making toys. She is very excited for Christmas.

Life is good. I'm glad to be alive. I'm glad I wasn't born earlier than I was. I don't think I would've survived pregnancy. Like I said, my life is good and I'm am BLESSED!!!!!

Oh....and we FINALLY got our car back yesterday. I stinks inside like paint, but it feels so good to drive it.

And....I got glasses today. I can now see, for REAL! Everything is so much more beautiful!

Mami mami mami mami mami......

I put the kids down a little early for their naps today. (And they also didn't wake up until 9:40 am.....AND they went to bed at 7:30pm last night.) They are still up. Isabella is reading her book and Alexander is saying "Ma may" "Ma may". He started saying "mami" a few days ago. That's all he says now. It's very sweet. This morning I woke up to....

Alexander: "MAAAA MIIIIIIII!"

and

Isabella: "Mami, I'm awake!"

This is what Isabella says every morning when she is up.

We finally carved our pumpkins this morning before Ronald left for work. They look great. Isabella didn't want to get the "guts" out. She thought it was gross. Last year she was brave and did it without hesitation. I will post pictures later.

Daddy is going to get the Christmas trees down for me today when he gets home. I know. I'm crazy. But I'm really really excited for Christmas this year. I think part of it has to do with my hormones. (Well, I can try to blame it on them, can't I?) I have big plans for Christmas this year. I'm surprised Daddy is willing to get the trees down for me so early. Normally, we would probably refuse. Again, thank you hormones!

Have a safe Halloween.

Not the right timing

Where do I begin.

A few people know that I am pregnant. If you didn't know, now you do. I am very excited about this new life, even though it was TOTALLY unexpected and not planned for (we were going to wait 2 years or so until Ronald is almost done with school). I have no idea when my due date is, sometime in May. I should find out for sure next week at my doctor's appointment.

Last night I took the kids my myself to church for the annual trunk-or-treat. Ronald had school. Isabella was really looking forward to this, and even though I wasn't feel great, I took her. Near the end of the night I felt some "wetness", more than usual (you know how it is being a pregnant woman, you NEVER know what's going on with your body), so I went to check it out. It was BLOOD! LOTS OF IT!!

I freaked, but very quietly. I didn't want to scare Isabella. Okay, I'll just stuff some TP in there and be fine. I did, and it wasn't cutting it. I didn't have anything in my purse that would be handy. WAIT....a diaper! Yes, I used a diaper, and it worked great. (I felt totally weired.) We hurried out to the car. (For the first time, I told Isabella to run in church. I felt really bad saying that, but I did.) We got home, I called the doctor, they said "come on down". Ronald still wasn't home so Daddy took me all the way down to Franklin Square. The midwife on duty checked me out. No cramping, good news. No dialation and a long cervix....very good news. They would try to listen for a heart beat and if that didn't work, they would do an ultrasound. The most beautiful thing ever gave my heart a little hug, I got to hear my sweet new growing baby's heartbeat. So I must be between 10-12 weeks....I think. I felt relieved, but I'm still not in the clear. Now I have to take it easy, which I think I've already been doing since I feel so nasty all day long (but it is WAY easier this time around than with Isabella and Alexander....with them I threw up 8-12 times a day, with this one it's only 2-4 times a day!). If I bleed a whole whole lot, I have to go back. I'm still bleeding, but I'm still not crampy.

I was very happy to get sick this morning. It made me feel normal. Hopefully things will be okay, and if not, I put all my trust in my Heavenly Father.

If only this all happened at home.......and not at church. sigh......

Isabella turns 3!

My Isabella turned three last week. She was has been so excited so her birthday this year. No kidding, every day for a couple of months before her big day, she has been talking about her birthday. She was so excited when the day finally came!

She got her very own fish! She named it "Banga". As in "bang" with an "ah" on the end. She named him right away.

"Look, I got my doctor toys back!" She's been wanting these since FOREVER!
" A BOOK!" This girly loves to read her books. Seriously, after she unwrapped her presents the first thing she did was look at her book. No requests were made for the toys to be opened. She just sat and read.

A prince, princess, and a wedding all in one box. She was pleased with her little people.

The birthday cake I made for my princesa. It's a pillow with a crown on top.

Uncle Cookie was the chief of the pancake flipping. Isabella said she wanted pancaycays (that's what she calls them) and bacon, and orange juice. This girl LOVES her breakfast foods.

My two sweet babies.

Happy birthday, sissy!

Excited that she finally gets to open her presents. Notice the jewelery. I put the clip on earrings on her and she said, "owww, take them off." I said, "wait, I want you to see how pretty you look first." I took her in the bathroom and put her on the counter. She saw herself and smiled. The earrings did not come off. The price of beauty.

Checking out her new Bitty Baby from Nanny. She loves loves LOVES her Bitty Baby (so does Auntie Beebs).

Singing happy birthday to my sweet girl (and Bitty Baby).

Preparing to blow the candles.

and they were out! I seriously thought one of my brothers "helped" her, but they didn't. She was pretty far from the cake. I didn't think she'd be able to blow them out from that far. I was wrong.

YAY! Now she can finally wear the princesa crown from the top of the cake! (And yes, I did wash it off first.) Such a pretty girl.

Riding on the motocicleta that Uncle Grant and Jenny got for her.

The Bitty Baby toting, motocicleta riding princesa Isabella.

Happy Birthday, punkin! I LOVE YOU!

Alexander turns 1!

My little bear turned one year old two weeks ago. I can't believe how quickly his birthday came. I remember being pregnant with him. I remember all of the contractions I had with him during the hay right to the pumpkin patch at Brad's. I remember hearing, "It's a boy!" and thinking, holy cow, I have a SON! We'll that sweet baby is one, and I just can't believe it. We had a nice birthday dinner for him with family. I love my little choo-choo.

The cake I made for him. Megan, I know it doesn't compare to your cakes, but I was very pleased with it.

The vines around the side of the cake.
The family, minus me, and Uncle Jeffrey wasn't there yet, either. Daddy had to work.

Eating his birthday dinner. I made him plain and blueberry waffles. We also had fruit salad. This boy LOVES those things.

The birthday boy, not sure what is going on.

Playing his drums that Nanny got for him.

Sitting on the "crrrrruck" that Nanny got for him, too. It makes lots of noises and plays music.

My brother Grant and his girlfriend Jenny got him this HUGE dump truck. Grant was hoping that Alexander would climb into the bed of the truck. Here he is doing just that. Grant was very pleased.

Sitting in the dump truck and holding the boat that Grandpa got him.

This is the face he was making while we were singing "Happy Birthday". He was grinning the whole time. So cute!

Trying to put the candle out with his fingers.

We called for back-up. Isabella helped Alexander blow out his candle.

mmmmm.....cake

It never ends

This morning on our way to the doctor's, we were rear ended. This happened on the busy busy 50 + miles per hour road near our house. The boy (okay, he's 22ish) who hit me was texting. IT"S AGAINST THE LAW!!!!!!!!!! Laws are made for reasons. Today, that reason was shown. When you text and drive you CRASH! The guy in front of me was turning right into his driveway. I slowed down and looked in my rear view mirror. I saw the car coming. TOO FAST! I literally said out loud, "slow down buddy.....oh no, you are going to hit me.....hold on!". He didn't hear me. I looked in the left lane and no one was coming for a long while, so I steered into that lane. He hit me on my right rear bumper, we went into the guard rail. Alexander cried at the top of his lungs. Isabella's eyes were really big. I was very scared. (I thought we were going to go over the guard rail into the trees, but we didn't....thankfully.)

Our car is pretty messed up, but the important things is that

WE ARE SAFE.

I'm glad I prayed for safety this morning before we left. I almost didn't pray (I don't know why, I always pray before we go anywhere.) Heavenly Father loves me and my sweet babies. I'm glad he heard and answered my prayer today. He DOES hear and answer prayers, and I am greatful.

Now, let's hope nothing else goes wrong this week. We still have no hot water, but someone's coming out to look at the heater tomorrow morning (hopefully) and he has experience with our heater!

Tired of boiling water

Our hot water heater has not produced ANY hot water (and I'm not exaggerating....there is NONE) for a little over a month now. I am really tired of boiling pots of water everytime I want to get clean. It takes me a good hour to get clean. I boil a big pot of water, dump that water in our canning pot, then fill up the now empty pot with more water and boil that. While the second pot is working on boiling, I fill up the canning pot with some more water (which is FREEZING) until the temperature is just right, and then sponge bathe. I use the second pot to wash my hair. This process is a pain, but I'm greatful we have running water and a stove to heat water on. My brother Nathan is here now trying to figure out how to get it to work (he's amazing....I love you Natey.), but he says he's not promising anything. The only problem is that it won't ignite to make hot water. The fan works, but the flame is OUT! Please pray for us that this problem will be solved. This mami needs a really hot bath right now. It has been a very yucky day!

Hormones are NOT fun!

I do not like my hormones. We do not get along at all. When I need to be supportive of my hubby, they don't want me to be, so then I fuss and whine, and then feel really bad! (Sorry, baby.) When I start working out and begin getting muscle definition again, I start loosing weight and looking GROSS! (This has only been happening since I've been married.) Why is it that every time I really start doing something good, my hormones send me in the other direction? Does this happen to anyone else? I want it to go away! I don't want to loose weight. I don't want to be grumpy. I don't want to cry for no reason (okay, sometimes I do. It feels REALLY good to just cry sometimes, and I need it.). Ronald had to work tonight, so I took the kids by myself to church to watch General Conference. They did great. On the way home, they fell asleep and when Isabella woke up to go inside, she became super grumpy, which helped me to be super grumpy. She wanted to snuggle tonight before I left her room and I didn't, so I just walked out. She cried. I went back and snuggled with her. Two seconds later she said, "okay mami, you can go now. Thank you." Two seconds of snuggling is all that girly needed, and I didn't want to give it to her? That's sad. I'm sorry. I'm glad I went back in.


On another note, Alexander is obsessed with trucks. He says it over and over and OVER. crrrrruck. ccccrrrrrruck. It's cute. He was saying to over and over during conference. I don't know if the others there thought it was cute. I'm sorry, but atleast he was well behaved. Alexander also says dog (gog, or gog-gog), grandpa (gaga), book (guck....kind of sounds like his truck, but he's saying book), and sissy (sssssiiiiiiissss). When he sees a baby he goes ahhhhhhhh, like awwww, but ahhhhh instead. He's so cute. I love my kids. Alexander will be one in 8 days! Isabella will be 3 in 18 days! I wish they would stop getting so old so fast. It makes me want to cry. DANG HORMONES!

Crazy people that I LOVE

These were all taken at my Mom's birthday dinner. I love how crazy my family is. They are so much for to be around.

Jenny (Grant's girlfriend who we LOVE), Ronald, and Grant

Nathan karate chopping me.
Crying because I won't stop taking his picture.

A classic picture of Grace.

I like Alexander's face in this one.

Nice one, mom.

A very typical face for Ronald.

Motocicleta girl

Isabella LOVES to ride with Uncle Grant on his motocicleta. Grant goes very slow with her, and she is just in HEAVEN. Now we need to get her a helmet.

I love this picture. She loves her Uncle Grant.

Getting on for the first time.
Grant was so proud of her for riding around with him. He's been looking forward to this since she was born, seriously.

Birds of a feather

The other day at nap time I went in to peek at the kids, and they were both sleeping like this; snuggling their blankies and feet hanging out of their beds. They are definately related.

I need a tomate

This little girl loves her tomatoes. Seriously, she eats them like candy. She ate 6 plum tomatoes in a row this night.

Where wishes and dreams come true

The beginning of this month my mom took Isabella, Alexander, and me to Dutch Wonderland. Isabella had been talking about going there for almost a month when we first drove by the big castle. Isabella was so very excited to be here. It was the perfect day for it, since it was a little rainy and a little chilly, so there were no lines and hardly anyone was there. It was perfect.

On the train.

Isabella was very excited to go on the merry-go-round. We went on this twice.
Alexander was a little scared on it, but he did well.

I couldn't believe that my mom went on this ride with Isabella. Mom screamed SO loud! Isabella didn't say a word and had no facial expression. I love the way my mom looks in the next three pictures. It's classic!

Mom couldn't stop laughing, Isabella was just looking around.

"Mami, look! It's a princesa!"

This was the perfect ride for them to ride on together, it was slow and it was a truck!

I thought for sure that Isabella would be scared on this ride, and I was going to go on it with her, but there was only room for one adult. (I'm kind of glad I didn't have to go on this ride, I would've been scared.) Isabella did great. Again, she didn't make a peep.

Alexander and Mom were playing together. She's so good with my babies.

"THE VOGAGER" aka the barf bucket. Isabella wanted to go on this, and I agreed to go on it with her. I wish I hadn't. Before we start, the guy running it says, "if anyone feels like they are going to be sick, push one of the STOP buttons in the center of the ceiling, and we'll get you out as soon as we can." Gross. Okay, so we stayed on. I had to close my eyes so I wouldn't get sick. I told Isabella to hold my hand in case she got scared, but she was fine. We're riding the ride and she says, "Mami, this is so fun!". About 10 seconds later, she says she feels sick. I think she was really fine, but I kept my eye on her. I wanted to push the button for myself, but I didn't. We made it, and were one of the first one's off. THANK GOODNESS! Never again will I get on that ride. Okay, maybe I will.

The twirling turtles is my FAVORITE ride. I was very pleased that Isabella liked it as much as me. We rode it three times in a row. The last time did me in. Boy was it fun, Isabella said it was her favorite ride, too. That's my girl. Milking the cow.

Alexander was laughing at all the kids walking by him. He was a ittle tired, and overly excited because of it.

At the end, Isabella just started running off. Seriously, she did these next two things all on her own. I didn't tell her to pose or anything. She actually said for me to take her picture.