Not what I was hoping for

I know I said I wouldn't post about the pregnancy for a while, I fibbed.

Tuesday's echo cardiogram went very well. The heart looked really good. The baby is as big as he's supposed to be. The spine and the brain still look good. Silly me, I thought that the defect on the spine would remain the same size as the last time I saw it. Not true. The defect continues to grow as the baby does. So my son will have a tail. I can't wait to see it. Actually I can wait.

Tuesday morning I woke up to more bleeding. I was not happy. Last time I saw the doctor (only a few days prior), I was told that if I bled again I would be put on bed rest. We have all just been assuming that the placenta is still detactching. So Tuesday morning I called my OBGYN and told them about the blood. They said for me to rest until it was time for my appointment. So I did. I got back home and was still bleeding bright red. So I called them again to see what they wanted me to do. They said come on in and they'll have a look at me. Good thing I went in. Apparently, I've been in labor. I seriously had no idea. I've had pre-term labor before (with Isabella) and have experience real labor with both of the kids before my scheduled c-sections. Seriously, how did I not know? I have no idea. My cervix is very very short, and this little man's head was right there pushing against it. My contractions were coming about every 2 minutes. BLAH!!! So I was sent home with a perscription and to be put on bed rest.

I have to tell you, best rest is NOT FUN. Some people might think it's nice, I don't have to worry about the kids, or cooking, or cleaning, but it is boring! I miss my kids. I want to cook. I want to go get groceries, and I can't. I'm almost 24 weeks pregnant, so that's what, 16 more weeks of bed rest, if I make it that far! AHHHH! I'm also scared. When I had preterm labor with Isabella, I ended up being admitted to the hospital and put on magnesium sulfate because my at home meds weren't cutting it. That stuff is TERRIBLE! As soon as they put you on the medication (through IV's), you get really hot and vomit like crazy. In my case, I enjoyed (not really) all of that, plus I almost died. I'm not exaggerating. Seriously, if my mom had not been there, I probably would've died because the doc and nurse were chit chatting. After they stablized me, my mom had to leave the room because she just broke down in tears. She didn't want me to freak out, even though I partially was. I knew something was wrong because I couldn't hear, see, or hardly breath. IT WAS SCARY! I do not want to have to go through that again. If I do, I'm making sure that my mom comes with me, just incase.

I don't understand why my body hates pregnancy so much. It makes me very sad. I am sure that this is one of my trials/tests. I hope I pass. I have seriously been thinking about whether or not I should even have another child. I am only allowed one more after this one. I just don't know. I need to pray about it and go to the temple. But for now, we are going to wait quite a while. My poor body (and family) needs a break.

Friends and family, please, please pray for me, this baby, and our family. I don't want him to be born too early. I don't want to risk death, again, for real. I want to be home with my family, even if that means I'm stuck in bed alllllll day. I believe in the power of prayer. And I know that everything will be alright in the end, regardless of what happens. Heavenly Father knows how things should be, even if I don't like them.

P.S.- If anyone ever wants to come and visit a lonely girl in the evening, I am so down for that. I will be in the need of good company, I'm sure of it.