I am home. We went all the way down to Johns Hopkins and got checked out.
Sure enough, I was having very frequent contractions. I am a 1cm dialated (which I wasn't on Tuesday) and 25% effaced. sigh. They told me to stop taking the medication that I'm currantly on and switched me to a different one. They sent me home since my cervix didn't change while I was there. I'm supposed to go back if I have worsening contractions/cramping/bleeding. I hope I don't, but I'm not crossing my fingers.
Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate each and every one. Hugs.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
FAITH!
I'm bleeding a lot this morning, and having contractions, I AM SCARED!
I am needing the faith of others. Please, please, plead on my behave with our loving Father in Heaven. They baby has a very small chance of survival if born now, and I don't want to die, either.
Many tears, and thanks
I am needing the faith of others. Please, please, plead on my behave with our loving Father in Heaven. They baby has a very small chance of survival if born now, and I don't want to die, either.
Many tears, and thanks
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Not what I was hoping for
I know I said I wouldn't post about the pregnancy for a while, I fibbed.
Tuesday's echo cardiogram went very well. The heart looked really good. The baby is as big as he's supposed to be. The spine and the brain still look good. Silly me, I thought that the defect on the spine would remain the same size as the last time I saw it. Not true. The defect continues to grow as the baby does. So my son will have a tail. I can't wait to see it. Actually I can wait.
Tuesday morning I woke up to more bleeding. I was not happy. Last time I saw the doctor (only a few days prior), I was told that if I bled again I would be put on bed rest. We have all just been assuming that the placenta is still detactching. So Tuesday morning I called my OBGYN and told them about the blood. They said for me to rest until it was time for my appointment. So I did. I got back home and was still bleeding bright red. So I called them again to see what they wanted me to do. They said come on in and they'll have a look at me. Good thing I went in. Apparently, I've been in labor. I seriously had no idea. I've had pre-term labor before (with Isabella) and have experience real labor with both of the kids before my scheduled c-sections. Seriously, how did I not know? I have no idea. My cervix is very very short, and this little man's head was right there pushing against it. My contractions were coming about every 2 minutes. BLAH!!! So I was sent home with a perscription and to be put on bed rest.
I have to tell you, best rest is NOT FUN. Some people might think it's nice, I don't have to worry about the kids, or cooking, or cleaning, but it is boring! I miss my kids. I want to cook. I want to go get groceries, and I can't. I'm almost 24 weeks pregnant, so that's what, 16 more weeks of bed rest, if I make it that far! AHHHH! I'm also scared. When I had preterm labor with Isabella, I ended up being admitted to the hospital and put on magnesium sulfate because my at home meds weren't cutting it. That stuff is TERRIBLE! As soon as they put you on the medication (through IV's), you get really hot and vomit like crazy. In my case, I enjoyed (not really) all of that, plus I almost died. I'm not exaggerating. Seriously, if my mom had not been there, I probably would've died because the doc and nurse were chit chatting. After they stablized me, my mom had to leave the room because she just broke down in tears. She didn't want me to freak out, even though I partially was. I knew something was wrong because I couldn't hear, see, or hardly breath. IT WAS SCARY! I do not want to have to go through that again. If I do, I'm making sure that my mom comes with me, just incase.
I don't understand why my body hates pregnancy so much. It makes me very sad. I am sure that this is one of my trials/tests. I hope I pass. I have seriously been thinking about whether or not I should even have another child. I am only allowed one more after this one. I just don't know. I need to pray about it and go to the temple. But for now, we are going to wait quite a while. My poor body (and family) needs a break.
Friends and family, please, please pray for me, this baby, and our family. I don't want him to be born too early. I don't want to risk death, again, for real. I want to be home with my family, even if that means I'm stuck in bed alllllll day. I believe in the power of prayer. And I know that everything will be alright in the end, regardless of what happens. Heavenly Father knows how things should be, even if I don't like them.
P.S.- If anyone ever wants to come and visit a lonely girl in the evening, I am so down for that. I will be in the need of good company, I'm sure of it.
Tuesday's echo cardiogram went very well. The heart looked really good. The baby is as big as he's supposed to be. The spine and the brain still look good. Silly me, I thought that the defect on the spine would remain the same size as the last time I saw it. Not true. The defect continues to grow as the baby does. So my son will have a tail. I can't wait to see it. Actually I can wait.
Tuesday morning I woke up to more bleeding. I was not happy. Last time I saw the doctor (only a few days prior), I was told that if I bled again I would be put on bed rest. We have all just been assuming that the placenta is still detactching. So Tuesday morning I called my OBGYN and told them about the blood. They said for me to rest until it was time for my appointment. So I did. I got back home and was still bleeding bright red. So I called them again to see what they wanted me to do. They said come on in and they'll have a look at me. Good thing I went in. Apparently, I've been in labor. I seriously had no idea. I've had pre-term labor before (with Isabella) and have experience real labor with both of the kids before my scheduled c-sections. Seriously, how did I not know? I have no idea. My cervix is very very short, and this little man's head was right there pushing against it. My contractions were coming about every 2 minutes. BLAH!!! So I was sent home with a perscription and to be put on bed rest.
I have to tell you, best rest is NOT FUN. Some people might think it's nice, I don't have to worry about the kids, or cooking, or cleaning, but it is boring! I miss my kids. I want to cook. I want to go get groceries, and I can't. I'm almost 24 weeks pregnant, so that's what, 16 more weeks of bed rest, if I make it that far! AHHHH! I'm also scared. When I had preterm labor with Isabella, I ended up being admitted to the hospital and put on magnesium sulfate because my at home meds weren't cutting it. That stuff is TERRIBLE! As soon as they put you on the medication (through IV's), you get really hot and vomit like crazy. In my case, I enjoyed (not really) all of that, plus I almost died. I'm not exaggerating. Seriously, if my mom had not been there, I probably would've died because the doc and nurse were chit chatting. After they stablized me, my mom had to leave the room because she just broke down in tears. She didn't want me to freak out, even though I partially was. I knew something was wrong because I couldn't hear, see, or hardly breath. IT WAS SCARY! I do not want to have to go through that again. If I do, I'm making sure that my mom comes with me, just incase.
I don't understand why my body hates pregnancy so much. It makes me very sad. I am sure that this is one of my trials/tests. I hope I pass. I have seriously been thinking about whether or not I should even have another child. I am only allowed one more after this one. I just don't know. I need to pray about it and go to the temple. But for now, we are going to wait quite a while. My poor body (and family) needs a break.
Friends and family, please, please pray for me, this baby, and our family. I don't want him to be born too early. I don't want to risk death, again, for real. I want to be home with my family, even if that means I'm stuck in bed alllllll day. I believe in the power of prayer. And I know that everything will be alright in the end, regardless of what happens. Heavenly Father knows how things should be, even if I don't like them.
P.S.- If anyone ever wants to come and visit a lonely girl in the evening, I am so down for that. I will be in the need of good company, I'm sure of it.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Baby Update
First things first, we are having a.......
BOY!
This little boy is doing just fine, as is his mami, most days. So the amneo tests came back and everything looked good and normal. He had his first MRI, and that went well, too. Then we went to meet Dr. Carson, a pediatric neurosurgian at Hopkins and have a consultation with him. He said that there is some hydrasephalis (water brain), so we will have to closely monitor that with ultrasound. If there gets to be too much water, they will have to deliver him sooner.
When he's born, they will check to see if the defect is closed or not. If it's covered by skin completely, then he won't need surgery until he's 3-6 months old. If it's covered with a membrane, he will need surgury within 24-48 hours. They will scan his head via ultrasound and check to see if the water is building up in the brain. He will most likely need a shunt in his head which will drain the excess fluid into his stomach so his brain can grow normally. If he has surgury right after birth, he will be in the NICU for about 10 days. They will also scan his bladder and catheterize him to see if he's voiding as he should. People with spina bifida defects that are really low sometimes have a harder time voiding properly, and it can cause problems with the kidneys, so they want to try and avoid that if possible. This kiddo will need to have surgury every time he has a growth spurt to loosen up all of the tendens and such so he doesn't have back problems and loose feeling in his lower body if he has it. If he can move his legs when he's born, then he will most likely be able to move them after surgury. He might have braces to help him walk. On Tuesday (the 19th) he will get an echo cardiogram to make sure his ticker is okay. They will also check out the rest of him and my placenta (since it's been tearing away....so not cool) while they do the echo.
My life isn't going to be the same. I can't say that I'm looking forward to this challenge and change in my life, but I know that this sweet baby was sent to me for a reason. I accept that gladly. Most days I'm okay, but sometimes I just cry because I don't want my child to go through so much challenge with all of the surguries, and I don't really know what's going to happen until he gets here. That scares me a little bit. I am a person who needs details! I'm not getting all of the details here, and that's hard.
Today I went to the doctor's for my usual check up. I'm 22 weeks now! And guess what, I am 138 lbs! That's three pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight! Time for some serious celebration, folks! I told my mom the other day that this is the quickest I've gained weight during pregnancy. And that is no lie. I am SO happy to not be sick right now. On the down side, I'm still able to fit into my regular clothes. (Well, it's not really a down side, I guess. I just wish I looked a little more pregnant.) I have to eat every 1 1/2 hours or I feel really really sick. And I have to eat a full meal, not just a snack. Still, with all of that, I'm not gaining tons of weight. I told that to my doctor and she said, "We usually don't tell our patients this, but EAT a LOT! You need to gain more weight, girl!" Seriously, I AM eating a lot. You can ask anyone that lives with me. It is never ending.
So that's the news. Next post will be something unrelated to this pregnancy. Maybe I will get my cute punkin and choo-choo back on here.
BOY!
This little boy is doing just fine, as is his mami, most days. So the amneo tests came back and everything looked good and normal. He had his first MRI, and that went well, too. Then we went to meet Dr. Carson, a pediatric neurosurgian at Hopkins and have a consultation with him. He said that there is some hydrasephalis (water brain), so we will have to closely monitor that with ultrasound. If there gets to be too much water, they will have to deliver him sooner.
When he's born, they will check to see if the defect is closed or not. If it's covered by skin completely, then he won't need surgery until he's 3-6 months old. If it's covered with a membrane, he will need surgury within 24-48 hours. They will scan his head via ultrasound and check to see if the water is building up in the brain. He will most likely need a shunt in his head which will drain the excess fluid into his stomach so his brain can grow normally. If he has surgury right after birth, he will be in the NICU for about 10 days. They will also scan his bladder and catheterize him to see if he's voiding as he should. People with spina bifida defects that are really low sometimes have a harder time voiding properly, and it can cause problems with the kidneys, so they want to try and avoid that if possible. This kiddo will need to have surgury every time he has a growth spurt to loosen up all of the tendens and such so he doesn't have back problems and loose feeling in his lower body if he has it. If he can move his legs when he's born, then he will most likely be able to move them after surgury. He might have braces to help him walk. On Tuesday (the 19th) he will get an echo cardiogram to make sure his ticker is okay. They will also check out the rest of him and my placenta (since it's been tearing away....so not cool) while they do the echo.
My life isn't going to be the same. I can't say that I'm looking forward to this challenge and change in my life, but I know that this sweet baby was sent to me for a reason. I accept that gladly. Most days I'm okay, but sometimes I just cry because I don't want my child to go through so much challenge with all of the surguries, and I don't really know what's going to happen until he gets here. That scares me a little bit. I am a person who needs details! I'm not getting all of the details here, and that's hard.
Today I went to the doctor's for my usual check up. I'm 22 weeks now! And guess what, I am 138 lbs! That's three pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight! Time for some serious celebration, folks! I told my mom the other day that this is the quickest I've gained weight during pregnancy. And that is no lie. I am SO happy to not be sick right now. On the down side, I'm still able to fit into my regular clothes. (Well, it's not really a down side, I guess. I just wish I looked a little more pregnant.) I have to eat every 1 1/2 hours or I feel really really sick. And I have to eat a full meal, not just a snack. Still, with all of that, I'm not gaining tons of weight. I told that to my doctor and she said, "We usually don't tell our patients this, but EAT a LOT! You need to gain more weight, girl!" Seriously, I AM eating a lot. You can ask anyone that lives with me. It is never ending.
So that's the news. Next post will be something unrelated to this pregnancy. Maybe I will get my cute punkin and choo-choo back on here.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
A rough 48 hours
Sunday morning during sacrament meeting, I started having painful contractions. I thought I was in labor, and I was scared. At first I thought it was my bowels, but it wasn't. I called my doctor and he told me to go straight to Franklin Square. We headed that way right after church and everything checked out fine. The baby's heart beat was good and I had not dialated at all. So I went home and was told to return if it got worse or if I started bleeding.
Literally as soon as we got home, I started bleeding. When I went into the bathroom and sat down, and something literally fell out. I was scared. I thought it was the baby. Ronald called 911 and the paramedics came. They took me to Upper Chesapeake, which I was NOT happy about, along with the thing that dropped out. My home teacher came and with Ronald's help gave me a wonderful blessing. His family kept the kids until we picked them up when I was discharged. By the end of the night, we were told that it is very possible that I could miscarry any day, but they just don't know. They baby's heart was still good. They found a "bleed" in my uterus, and also found a growth on the baby's spine. My heart sunk. None of that sounded good at all. I cried a lot.
The next morning (Monday), the doctor and I talked and he said that he wanted me to see a perinatologist (I don't think I spelled that right), so they could do a more thorough sonogram with better equipment. I called them and they said for me to come down immediately. Tanner (my brother) watched the kids for a little bit until my visiting teacher arrived to help. Then Grace got from school and continued to help so my visiting teacher could go home. Mom and I went down to Franklin Square (Ronald had finals yesterday), and I had my sonogram done. They were wonderful. The baby is still fine, and is measuring to date. (18 weeks as of yesterday) The baby's brain looked good and the baby was moving it's legs, which was also good. There is a growth on the spine, near it's little butt. It's small and the spine is not in the growth, so that is also good. The doctor said that the best place for this to happen is on the lowest part of the spine, so that made me feel a little better. After the sonogram I had an amneosentis done, which hurt and was scary, too. That will help them determine what chromosome abnormalities there will be. Then we met with a genetic counselor. She will be calling us with the results. In 3-4 weeks the baby will have an MRI done, and some time in the near future will also have an echo done to check it's heart. The baby will have spina bifida, but we don't know what kind yet. I will have to deliver at John Hopkins because the baby will need surgery a few days after birth, and then it will be in the NICU for a few weeks. I will also have to constantly be monitored and have ultrasounds every month to see how the baby is doing. And this is all if the pregnancy continues.
My friends, I am very scared and very sad. Sometimes I'm alright, but I've been having my really rough moments, too. My life isn't going to be the same. BUT, I KNOW that Heavenly Father will help me and guide me. He's already comforted me so much. I trust in his plan for me and my family. I know he loves me. I know he loves this baby. He is a just and a good God. Please, pray for us.
Literally as soon as we got home, I started bleeding. When I went into the bathroom and sat down, and something literally fell out. I was scared. I thought it was the baby. Ronald called 911 and the paramedics came. They took me to Upper Chesapeake, which I was NOT happy about, along with the thing that dropped out. My home teacher came and with Ronald's help gave me a wonderful blessing. His family kept the kids until we picked them up when I was discharged. By the end of the night, we were told that it is very possible that I could miscarry any day, but they just don't know. They baby's heart was still good. They found a "bleed" in my uterus, and also found a growth on the baby's spine. My heart sunk. None of that sounded good at all. I cried a lot.
The next morning (Monday), the doctor and I talked and he said that he wanted me to see a perinatologist (I don't think I spelled that right), so they could do a more thorough sonogram with better equipment. I called them and they said for me to come down immediately. Tanner (my brother) watched the kids for a little bit until my visiting teacher arrived to help. Then Grace got from school and continued to help so my visiting teacher could go home. Mom and I went down to Franklin Square (Ronald had finals yesterday), and I had my sonogram done. They were wonderful. The baby is still fine, and is measuring to date. (18 weeks as of yesterday) The baby's brain looked good and the baby was moving it's legs, which was also good. There is a growth on the spine, near it's little butt. It's small and the spine is not in the growth, so that is also good. The doctor said that the best place for this to happen is on the lowest part of the spine, so that made me feel a little better. After the sonogram I had an amneosentis done, which hurt and was scary, too. That will help them determine what chromosome abnormalities there will be. Then we met with a genetic counselor. She will be calling us with the results. In 3-4 weeks the baby will have an MRI done, and some time in the near future will also have an echo done to check it's heart. The baby will have spina bifida, but we don't know what kind yet. I will have to deliver at John Hopkins because the baby will need surgery a few days after birth, and then it will be in the NICU for a few weeks. I will also have to constantly be monitored and have ultrasounds every month to see how the baby is doing. And this is all if the pregnancy continues.
My friends, I am very scared and very sad. Sometimes I'm alright, but I've been having my really rough moments, too. My life isn't going to be the same. BUT, I KNOW that Heavenly Father will help me and guide me. He's already comforted me so much. I trust in his plan for me and my family. I know he loves me. I know he loves this baby. He is a just and a good God. Please, pray for us.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
The best day EVER!!!
Today I went into the hospital for IV hydration....again. I should've gone last night, but Ronald needed to finish a paper for school so he could take it to the communication's lab this morning.
It feels so good to be hydrated. True, the process of it is not fun. The IV Therapist blew out one of my veins, which now hurts like CRAZY, and it's pretty boring laying in bed for hours waiting for your keytones to clear, but it feels so good to have fluids in my body again! I feel like a new woman.
After I was discharged, we went to Waffle House to eat dinner. Ronald humored me, since I thought I might be able to eat something there. He wanted Wendy's. I love Wendy's, but I didn't think I was ready for that yet. I ate two bowls of DELICIOUS grits and almost 5 pieces of bacon. It was YUMMMMMMMY!
We came home, put the kids to bed, and I lay in bed thinking of all of the things that I wanted to eat. Most of them will have to wait until after this whole sickness thing is over with. But it was so lovely to think and talk about food and not feel totally disgusting. The sad thing is that a lot of the things I want to eat are fatty and meat. Before I became pregnant, I was trying to cut as much meat out of our diets as possible. My body must need it. I will give my body what it wants for a little while.
Ronald is out right now getting me English Muffins at Redner's. I am SOOOO HAPPY!!!!! I kept saying that I wanted one with lots of butter (I love how it sits in the pockets.....yum) and some jelly on top. He finally gave in. He loves me. And I LOVE HIM! (And I will also love that English Muffin when it gets here.) You know what Ronald said to me when he left? You better not fall asleep or I will be upset!
Yup. This is a big sacrifice for him, and I love him for making it for me. Thanks, baby.
If I had gone to the hospital last night, I wouldn't have gotten grits and bacon, and Ronald wouldn't be at the store right now trying to fatten his tiny wife up.
It has been the best day EVER!!!!!
It feels so good to be hydrated. True, the process of it is not fun. The IV Therapist blew out one of my veins, which now hurts like CRAZY, and it's pretty boring laying in bed for hours waiting for your keytones to clear, but it feels so good to have fluids in my body again! I feel like a new woman.
After I was discharged, we went to Waffle House to eat dinner. Ronald humored me, since I thought I might be able to eat something there. He wanted Wendy's. I love Wendy's, but I didn't think I was ready for that yet. I ate two bowls of DELICIOUS grits and almost 5 pieces of bacon. It was YUMMMMMMMY!
We came home, put the kids to bed, and I lay in bed thinking of all of the things that I wanted to eat. Most of them will have to wait until after this whole sickness thing is over with. But it was so lovely to think and talk about food and not feel totally disgusting. The sad thing is that a lot of the things I want to eat are fatty and meat. Before I became pregnant, I was trying to cut as much meat out of our diets as possible. My body must need it. I will give my body what it wants for a little while.
Ronald is out right now getting me English Muffins at Redner's. I am SOOOO HAPPY!!!!! I kept saying that I wanted one with lots of butter (I love how it sits in the pockets.....yum) and some jelly on top. He finally gave in. He loves me. And I LOVE HIM! (And I will also love that English Muffin when it gets here.) You know what Ronald said to me when he left? You better not fall asleep or I will be upset!
Yup. This is a big sacrifice for him, and I love him for making it for me. Thanks, baby.
If I had gone to the hospital last night, I wouldn't have gotten grits and bacon, and Ronald wouldn't be at the store right now trying to fatten his tiny wife up.
It has been the best day EVER!!!!!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Oh GOOD!
This morning I woke up and felt OK. I felt gross, but I didn't want to hurl. I toasted a bagel and gave Isabella half. I chose the small half. Less stuff to come up later. I put butter on it. It was DELICIOUS! I didn't feel so great afterwards and was not looking forward to what I thought might happen. So, I ate an orange. It was gooooooood. So I had another one. Then I had a small glass of orange juice. Guess what?
It all stayed down!
For lunch I ate 2/3's a box of mac n' cheese. Not the best, I know, but it also stayed down!
I don't know if I should worry about the baby and think something's wrong, or if I should just REJOICE!!!! Right now, I'm kind of doing both. I started bleeding a little yesterday, and if that wasn't going on, I think I would just be very very happy.
Tomorrow, a nurse is coming to help me with my new zofran pump. I had this when I was pregnant with Isabella. Not my favorite thing, but I have zofran in my system 24/7, so that IS a good thing. Maybe I will be able to eat more and start gaining some weight. Maybe....sigh. I am looking forward to tomorrow, however, I am NOT looking forward to having to stick and re-stick myself every 3-5 days. I hated that part. My mom had to do most of the sticking for me last time. And since I have two little ones at home, I have to make sure that they won't pull my line out. That would so not be cool. Hopefully there will be enough fat to pinch so I can stick myself. My poor body.
I'm off to try to eat and drink something else. YIPPY!
It all stayed down!
For lunch I ate 2/3's a box of mac n' cheese. Not the best, I know, but it also stayed down!
I don't know if I should worry about the baby and think something's wrong, or if I should just REJOICE!!!! Right now, I'm kind of doing both. I started bleeding a little yesterday, and if that wasn't going on, I think I would just be very very happy.
Tomorrow, a nurse is coming to help me with my new zofran pump. I had this when I was pregnant with Isabella. Not my favorite thing, but I have zofran in my system 24/7, so that IS a good thing. Maybe I will be able to eat more and start gaining some weight. Maybe....sigh. I am looking forward to tomorrow, however, I am NOT looking forward to having to stick and re-stick myself every 3-5 days. I hated that part. My mom had to do most of the sticking for me last time. And since I have two little ones at home, I have to make sure that they won't pull my line out. That would so not be cool. Hopefully there will be enough fat to pinch so I can stick myself. My poor body.
I'm off to try to eat and drink something else. YIPPY!
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